Brynlie Rae

Brynlie is my favorite little girl! She likes babies, baby dolls, animals, dancing, butterflies, shoes, hats, coloring, kids, running, walking, and probably a lot more that I can't remember right now.

She doesn't love food, especially trying something new. Just learned that she likes plain cook-at-home tortialls, cold noodles and cottage cheese. Cheddar cheese, yogurt, and baby food she will always eat. Oh and candy! Currently we are working on eating hot dogs, which she doesn't like. If she'd eat hot dogs that'd be her meat source! :)

 Another new thing is that she'll gabber on and on and tell us a whole story about something. Normally the story includes Trav's parents dog Sadie or Trav's sister dog Nike, or both.

She has a hard time waking up from her naps most days. But once she's relaxed and feeling better she tells me "Bynney cry (shaking her head "no"), bynney happy!" and "bynney better" and "bynney happy." She loves to play with her cousins and friends and doesn't care if we are close by. Other times she is extremely attached to us and won't leave her side.

 She loves when everything is in its place. The wind blew the umbrella away and this is her saying, "uh oh." She hates if I take a sip of travis's drink because it's HIS drink. She doesn't like "sharing" but is fine if we "take turns!" (not sure I know what the difference is)

 She has beautiful curly curly hair. I have fun doing her hair and she loves her pretty hair. Her hair do in the below picture stayed in until a few days after Trevin was born. This was the Sunday before he was born on Tuesday. She was bathed but we just left her hair alone for a while, haha!

 Got curls!? When it's wet it hits her lower neck. She just barely learned that if she looks up while I slowly dump water on her hair then she doesn't get soap and water in her face and eyes. She loves putting the On Guard oil on her feet and loves picking any scab on her body. She's beginning to love band-aids! Me too, actually, cuz then the scab has a chance to heal!

 She loves loves shoes and puts a lot of them on herself. She loves to stay clean and to clean with a "wipey." She loves to shut herself in the fridge and that pantry and is 100% NOT afraid of the dark. She doesn't know how to open doors yet - turning the knob.

 She says "hedjay" when she wants to be held or if she's holding something. Ex: she'll say, "mama hedjay baby and bynney hand." Translation: "mama is holding the baby and Brynlie will hold mamas hand" when we are walking downstairs, etc.

She's a sweet girl and very empathetic. She loves to sit under the kitchen table and pull in all the chairs and say, "see ya later....Robby's house..." And I say, " oh, are you going to Robby's house?" And she says, "yea, see ya." Lately she's been saying how she's "on the way" to Robby's house! So cute! (Robby is her uncle and my younger brother. They're buddies)
She'll tell us that we are cute. And sometimes whisper "wow" when she likes the shirt I just put on. :) When we're getting ready to eat she'll say, "I waaaaant.... (Thinking)...um, (clicking her tongue in her mouth)...fishies." (Or raisins or a "snack" which is a fruit snack).

What a cutie! Love you brynners!

my soy boy

Trevin is a very happy baby! He doesn't care if he isn't swaddled for his naps. He loves his binkie, the blinds, and sleeping by me. He doesn't like the hiccups but is talented at getting rid of them fast by eating more or just relaxinng. He's a talented pee-er and can shoot very far!

He's like, "Yea, I'm talented..."

(Note to self #1: The goal with a newborn (age birth to 3 weeks) is to get them to eat a full feeding at each feeding and simply to try and keep them awake but no worries because newborns are super sleepy)

He doesn't mind when Brynlie gets real close. He loves to listen to her gibber gabber. He loves to sleep and already has a distinct afternoon nap! He likes to be fed and see's no need to be burped but just wants to eat some more or sleep.

(Note to self #2: When bathing a newborn, you don't need to use soap because their skin is too sensitive. Cradle cap can be treated by washing the scalp and hair with shampoo using a soft baby brush.)

He's a beauty! With super dark eyes and hair and even pretty tan skin. He is about 7.5 pounds, gaining 16 ounces from 2 weeks to 3 weeks! His system doesn't love milk. His system does better on soy formula. The milk formula made him super grunty (because he really doesn't cry) and made him way constipated. (still waiting to get all that milk out of his system.)

(Note to self #3: when he was only on breastmilk he hardly grew (2.5 ounces from one week to two weeks), and he was extremely gassy.Poor kid.)

He's a good night sleeper like his sister. At 3 weeks, he already does one 5 hour feeding stretch almost every night and 4 hour stretches after that. Whereas he eats after 2.5 hours during the day. He is fine with sleeping on his back with burp cloths propping his shoulder a little to make his head turn to one side or the other. (Which equals (hopefully) no flat head according to the pediatrican)

(Note to self #4: Pediatrican was pleased that I was aiming for two tummy times a day. He said 5-20 minutes is a great tummy time. He said having them nap on their stomach once a day while you are watching them the whole time is beneficial simply for getting them off the back of their head for a little bit.)

He has a hairy back and hairy shoulders like his sister did. Trevin's hair in these areas is super blonde and light whereas Brynlie's was dark dark brown. He loves the bath (pictures to come). He doesn't love (assuming) when I try and keep him awake after he eats. He would like to eat and sleep all 24 hours except from 10pm-midnight! He's a night owl I guess!

(Note to self #5: Trevin prefers his head tilted to his right shoulder (cheek to shoulder), although his neck tendons are not too tight on either side. Brynlie's tendons on one side of her neck were too tight and had to be stretched. She tilted her neck (ear to shoulder) to her left. Around 6-8 months the tilt was completely gone/neck tendons were loosened probably due to exercises with crawling.)

He's a mama's boy, I assume and hope!, because he loves to be held and cuddled and loves when I sing andn sleep next to him. Although, if he's calm and content and I start to talk to him he starts squirmming. Seems like he doens't like to be talked to, but I bet he mostly just wants to be picked up if someone is paying that much attention to him.

He doesn't mind hanging out by himself even when he is awake if I need to take care of Brynlie's lunch, diapers, etc. He loves her kisses and is patient when she holds him! He always naps during her naps - unbelieveable!

(Note to self #6: His toes curl in and the top of his right ear is grown into itself. His toes aren't a problem if they don't trip him when he walks. And his ear might need a minor surgery to look better - it doesn't effect his hearing.)

Bathing the boy with Brynlie!

Trevin loved his first bath! He even started to fall asleep! So fun for me cuz Brynlie hated the bath until she was 5 months old and sitting up. But Trevin enjoyed it and Brynlie enjoyed splashing the water and watching Trevin! Good times! Might be an everyday occurrence to entertain Brynlie, wake Trevin up a little (until he falls asleep in the tub), and help with his cradle cap.

A no regrets labor and delivery! (Ah! so excited I can say that!)

Even though labor is labor and it’s really truly just no fun, I have hardly any regrets about my whole hospital and birthing experience. When it comes right down to it, it’s not because I went natural. I brought a "birthing plan" with me to the hospital. Many of you have heard about how my birthing experience with Brynlie was pretty much devastating, so this time I had a plan!! This birthing plan was a paper with written details about what I didn't want to have happen and what I did. I was first a little embarrassed to bring this huge list until all the nurses acted like it was perfectly normal and expected. I did NOT feel like "the crazy lady in 4220 who's going natural and had this crazy list to follow." (Again, in my experience the nurses were nothing like the nonflexible and mean nurses you hear about. Better shift of nurses, maybe? Who knows, but if I wanted something they jumped to help me.)

Anyway, because of this birthing plan, I have zero regrets about the birth! Everything happened just the way I asked on this plan. Some things on the birthing plan I could have just told the nurses to do at the right time but I was SO glad it was written beforehand because in real life I could not have said or remembered to say all that I had written.

Everyone wants a good birthing experience, obviously. Everyone has their own specific expectations and desires. Nevertheless, I thought I’d share exactly what I had on that plan, I don’t know, for those that are curious and for those who are creating their own birthing plan and want some additional ideas and insights. You’re welcome! ;)

Oh and when I originally wrote this, it was only a few months since delivering Brynlie, so I was mad. I was determined and I was very assertive. Then, because we had Trevin a little earlier than I thought, I never had a chance to rewrite the plan with nicer words. J So, to me, this plan sounds pretty harsh. I guess my only regret would be that this plan doesn’t sound too nice. Next time I want to rewrite it with a little more fun and humor to it yet still in a very assertive way. (Maybe because it was so straight forward and not necessarily nice, the nurses were excellent in following each thing, though! lol!)

Oh and after delivering Trevin, I added #6 and #9. Although I had no regrets, I still live and learn! (Explanation for #9: still getting oxygen from the umbilical cord and breathing in oxygen is beneficial for the baby.) Oh and I am personally glad Trevin got the shot and the eye stuff after delivery. But I haven’t done a ton of research on it. But the nurses were extremely for it. (They were also extremely supportive and excited I wanted to go natural, so I really trusted and valued their opinion.) But, maybe do your own research before taking my word for it.

Alright, phew, I think I’m ready to share. Enjoy my very non-sugar coated side! (oi!)

mean face. grr.

BIRTH PLAN for Rachel Thompsen (DOB 05-14-1988)

  1.   I don’t want to be told how much I am dilated. Please keep this to yourself.

  2.   I would like a nurse that has assisted in successful natural deliveries in the past and/or who has had her own positive natural delivery.

  3.   I would like to request room #4.

  4.   When my forehead wrinkles, I want Travis to lightly touch my forehead as a reminder to relax my face. When my shoulders, arms, and legs tighten, I want Travis to lightly touch my arms to remind me to relax those areas.

  5.   If I still need pitocin, I would like the lowest dose and for it to be discontinued once my body catches on to the induced labor.

  6.   I want a local anesthetic right when I my body begins to push so the medicine will work before the baby crowns! Ouch!

  7.   As am pushing and almost ready to deliver, I don’t want the extras nurse telling me encouraging things. (they weren’t there during all the labor, I don’t want to hear from them now). If this happens, I want Travis to kindly assert that “we have this under control and please move and wait over there.” Or something…

8.       The nurses will NOT unsnap the shoulder snaps on my gown until the baby has been born. I want trav to help ensure my privacy during this time.

9.       I want to delay the cutting of the cord until the baby is taken to be weighed, etc.

10.   If the baby is healthy, I want to keep the baby in my arms/on my chest for 1 hour BEFORE the baby is WEIGHED or any other such procedures take place.

11.   I want Motrin right when I get into post-partum BEFORE post-partum pain sets in. I also want a Motrin to be in my system for each time I nurse.

12.   I want ALL postpartum nurses to push on my uterus while taking close notice of my bladder (when my catheter has been taken out) because it might be paralyzed!

13.   I plan on nursing. I will try nursing without a nipple shield if necessary.

14.   All visitors must leave my 7:30pm so that I can relax and go to bed calmly and not worried about the clock and getting enough sleep.

15.   If the baby isn’t nursing well then the baby will be in the nursery from 9pm until 6am. Otherwise, the baby will sleep in the nursery and then be brought in to me to nurse when the baby is hungry.

16.   I plan to stay at the hospital for two full days after having the baby.

See? I'm actually pretty nice.
But the nurses will never know that! jk!
(Actually I was especially nice to them, maybe cuz I knew my birthing plan made me sound very scary! lol)

maternity pictures!!

After two negative pregnancy tests, we actually found out I was truly pregnant when I missed my period. This made the first 5 weeks fly by! :)

We told everyone that we were pregnant at 3 months with a fun family picture. Here's my single shot during the photo shoot.

At 4 months, my good friend Tatjana who we played with all summer, had her baby boy! (This was taken at her house)

At 19 weeks (almost 5 months), I was on a cruise in the Bahamas with my hubby and friends!

At 6 months, in December, I made gingerbread houses every weekend. I had never made them before in my life!

In January, and at 7 months (27 weeks), I discoverd, feel in love with, and became surprisingly passionate about water aerobics!

At 28 weeks, we all got the nasty stomach flu. All I remember is that Coke saved us! That stuff is powerful! :)

At 8 months, I bought myself some maternity skinny jeans and felt totaly stylin' shopping with my cousin Emily Smith at City Creek!

At exactly 9 months, or 36 weeks, it was Brynlie's 2nd birthday and I was on a seated bed rest due to the dreaded high blood pressure I've gotten during both pregnancies!

A week later, I suddenly had a need to take another random 37 week pregnancy picture... (by our new piano!)

The next day Trevin Dale Thompsen was born!!!! This picture below was taken when he was one week or 8 days after the picture above!

(These maternity pictures were inspired by Kelly White! She looked like she had fun with her maternity pictures and inspired me to do the same!)

Natural vs Epidural

As the nurse wheeled me into postpartum a little over an hour after delivering Trevin, she asked, "so would you go natural again?"

The question seemed almost ridiculous after what I had just been through. At that moment, I was NOT doing anything close to that again!! Ha ha!

In comparison to Brynlie's delivery, Trevin's delivery was completely ideal and everything I envisioned it to be. But it's still labor and delivery! It still a human being coming out of you! But it's very true, too, that Trevin was born in as much peace and calm as I was able to muster. I kind of feel like I could tell he felt calm too because he didn't cry at all when he was born (and for almost a week) yet was breathing perfectly!

But what's my opinion on epidurals? Epidurals are a blessing from Heavenly Father. If my body didn't have weird side effects to it and if I knew 100% that it would actually WORK like its famous for working then why not have an epidural? Why feel all the pressure? So I still think epidurals have their place as a blessing from modern technology.

That being said, there are major things about going natural that I loved.

1. I got to witness first hand how freaking awesome MY body is! Or how awesome women's bodies are! I heard people causally say, "when you feel like pushing..." Ha! If that's not the understatement of the century. My body pushed the baby out and there was no stopping it! I couldn't even breath when my body didn't want to. My organs and everything knew it was time to have a baby and so it did. While me and my mental stuff just tried not to get in the way by simply staying relaxed knowing my body knew what it was doing. It was awesome to be so surprised and impressed with my body. Women are amazing!!!

2. Through reading and researching lots of things about going natural and epidurals, I read about how epidurals drug the baby too! It sounded utterly impossible and Brynlie certainly didn't drugged! So i didnt believe it. ha ha! But in postpartum, the nursery nurses said there is a huge difference in the babies that are born without epidurals! She said they are so much more alert, not drugged. Brynlie was alert for a good hour after delivery but Trevin was alert for at least 2 hours plus lots in between naps. So a huge reason I'd encourage one to go natural is for the baby's sack. Going into this delivery, my choice to go natural was all about creating a better experience (than brynlies) for ME. If I was in a better place mentally and physically, the baby would naturally benefit as well. But now being through it, I'd do it again mostly for the baby and a little for me.

3. It was a neat feeling in postpartum to not be numb and not worrying, "I wonder how I'll feel when this all wears off." There was this sense of normalcy; I didn't feel like I just came out of surgery or a patient. I felt pretty independent as far as going to the bathroom and moving around and stuff. I felt like me...with a sore bum! Literally. :) Despite the stitches for the episiotomy, my major pain source was a sore bum. I didn't even do a lot of sitting on the bed, but by the time Trevin was born my bum was completely numb from sitting! Maybe the ball did it...? Weird!

4. With Brynlie I felt a lot of pain against my will. This time it felt wonderful to feel in control, or it felt good to not be afraid or surprised by the pain. My body was in control and I knew that and was calm and comfortable just with that fact alone. There's something very powerful about NOT feeling victimized but to feel like this was MY choice. I was able to stay mentally sane through the whole thing. High five!!

Trevin Dale Thompsen's Birth Story

Trevin Dale Thompsen is a week today! Here is his birth story in grand detail. It took me about 3 days to write it so I won't be surprised if it takes you that long to read it! Knowing that most of you don't care for all the nitty gritty details, I have colored the brief story in blue. Think of it as the cliff notes to this birth story! Good luck and enjoy!

When I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed Monday night (March 11th), I did some math and figured out that if I was pregnant with Brynlie then we'd have her tomorrow (March 12)!! I was stunned by how early it felt if I had a baby tomorrow yet with Brynlie it didn't feel too early at all. This was about at midnight. We went to bed and I slept great until the usual 3am hour when I always have to go to the bathroom. I was back in bed 2 minutes later and off to sleep with the expectation to sleep until 7 when trav says goodbye and heads to work. About an hour later, I randomly woke up. Not to a pain or anything, but as I settled back asleep and got comfy again, I noticed my bottom garments felt damp. I knew I was half asleep, so I chalked the sensation up to confusion. But as I moved again, I couldn't help but feel they were damp. So after a quick examination, I realized that they really were damp. I immediately started crossing possible answers off the list: not pee, I just went and haven't peed the bed since I was young. It could only be one thing, I thought, as my heart raced and i jumped out of bed and ran to our bathroom. My water. It's broken. And that's confirmed as I sat on the toilet and heard something slowly and constantly trickling out. It was 4:20am March 12th.

(This is me on Monday night, March 11. My last pregnancy picture. I had no idea he was coming the next morning but I had an intense desire to take another random pregnancy picture. Tender mercy! Heavenly Father cares about our cares!)

Next few thoughts:
This is so early (37 weeks according to my LMP, 37wks 5 days according to the ultrasound),
Did it break because I was majorly nesting last night and set up his pack n play/bassinet with blankets and everything and thought "okay we are ready?"
Is this my fault?
Is it anyone's fault?
What do I do, now?

The night before (Monday), I had read about what to do if your water breaks, if you have no contractions, and if it's the middle of the night: my exact situation. Immediately I knew what to do and I knew that wasn't a coincidence. So I grabbed a towel for between my legs, and hopped back on bed to relax and notice any contractions.

The next hour was a great and important one for my mental self. At first I was shocked and immediately felt guilty. But as I layed there I remembered something else I had recently read: the hormone that puts my body into labor is secreted from the baby. Therefore, the baby signals my body when he's ready. So HE must be ready. This brought comfort and I started looking for this coming adventure. Then I spent a while trying to sleep but mostly just trying to be deeply relaxed. During this time, I noticed 3 contractions which were very far apart and they felt nothing like Braxton Hicks but still weren't too painful (yet).

(One of the best parts of this whole story...) When do I tell trav who's sick and needs as much sleep as he can get? My plan? Wait for a few hours. Sounds crazy but my contractions were like 20 minutes apart and I knew that things wouldn't get interesting until they were around 3-5 minutes apart. But when I noticed him roll over and begin to get comfortable in his new spot, I thought, "I'll whisper to him and if he doesn't hear me then I'll let him sleep a little longer." So I whispered, "Trav..." and I hear a grunt saying "what?" I had no clue how long it had truly been since I discovered my water broken so I asked, "what time is it?" (No contacts in for me basically equals blindness.) He glances at the clock and says almost in a whine, "it's 5:30...?" I smiled because I understood his confusion and laughed at the irony in his reaction. Then I said, "Well about an hour ago my water broke..." Silence. Then he suddenly sat up and stared down at me and slowly said half smiling, "are you serious!!?" I smiled and said, "yea...my garments are socked and I have a towel between my legs." He laid back down facing me, smiled, and put his forehead against mine and said, "okay. ....Wow." Then I began explaining how I just read that we don't need to rush the hospital, but that we could just slowly get ready. When I mentioned that maybe he should try and sleep some more, trav said confidently, "no, no, we are getting up. I'm not going back to sleep." I was mostly relieved because my first reaction in exciting times like these is NOT to wait it out but to jump in and get started. We got up and started packing because none of us were packed at this point in the pregnancy thinking we had at least another week and a half. Trav made me toast and a glass of milk while I packed between contractions. When standing, my contractions were almost 2 minutes apart and were uncomfortable enough to make me immediately stop packing and lay down on the nearest part of the floor or bed. It took us 2 full hours to get all packed. Actually it look Trav that long. :) I laid and talked to my mother in law for 40 minutes who we had called at 6:30 to come watch Brynlie. (Brynlie was sleeping during this, thank (freaking) goodness!) But I have to give Trav more credit because he did get some things ready for Brynlie and other stuff done around the house. :)

In the car, I called my mom who was so excited! During around 20 minute conversation and drive, I had 4-5 contractions where I had to put down the phone and just relax. When we got to the hospital we actually drove around it twice because they've changed the parking entrances by the main entrance. :) At labor and delivery they took us seriously and didn't question admitting us to the hospital when I told them my water broke. (Unlike for some ladies when they first have contractions and their water hasn't broken and nurses don't believe them for a while-sounds highly frustrating.) After I changed we went into their treeoge area for an hour or so while they continued to check us in. The nurse that checked me in was actually one of my favorite nurses during Brynlie's delivery. I should have told her that but I knew there was no way she'd remember and I was trying to deal with more contractions. Up until this point, my contractions were painful enough to highly respect them and give all my attention to relaxing and working with them, no stressing and resisting them. I couldn't talk during them but they didn't make me feel victimized or out of control. I was able to stay calm and think happy thoughts (literally) despite their increasing intensity.

After that we went in our sunny/shadowy/purple room (4210), where they started my IV (first time the charge nurse tried it hit "valves" and I could feel it go up my arm! Totally weird feeling and luckily not too painful cuz I was so relaxed, haha!) Then they hooked me up to the wobbly contraction and baby heart rate monitors and they actually stayed on the whole time. Finally three hours after leaving our house (now 10:30) trav and I were free to "labor." We walked around and around and around the pretty tiny labor and delivery floor, stopping sometimes during contractions but mostly walking through them cuz that felt better. It was during this 40 minute walk that my contractions became a steady 6 minutes apart. After that long walk and a blue popsicle we headed back to be monitored for 20 minutes. By this point I was excited to not be standing anymore because the contractions were getting worse. While being monitored for the second time (first time was right when they hooked me up and I just laid on the bed), I sat on a birthing ball or an exercise ball.

The second I sat on the ball and my legs and bum were able to relax, I began to fall in love with this big green ball! During the monitoring and for the next hour I sat and rolled side to side with my head and arms on the bed. It felt good on my aching hips. Towards the end of this hour, I learned sitting straight up on the ball actually felt better for me. Also, during this hour and in between contractions we started talking about what name we wanted. As many of you know, we weren't quite sure what to do. But as we talked (and I started to decide I liked Trevin better than Brevin-so close right? Hard choice. Ha ha), I also came to the conclusion that talking in between contractions was also out. When I talked I wasn't in a relaxed enough state. I was dialated to a five here. From this point on I also learned the value for 100% relaxation for 100% of the time. If I stayed relaxed then the contraction was bearable and I didn't panick. But if I even said "stop" or "no" (especially during this third hour), I lost my focus just enough and began panicking at the intensity of the following contraction. Also during this hour the nurse mentioned there are pressure points she could push on to relieve some pain. So I climbed on the bed to have her try only find that it didn't help. I would lose focus and panic. (Panicking: a little moaning and grasping the bed.) Even when she stopped and I stayed on the bed I couldn't handle the contractions well. I was dialated to a seven at this point. So between contractions I got back on the birthing ball and again felt an immediate relief. Between contractions now were not a zero pain scale. Solid cramping was the feeling. Probably as bad as your worse menstral cramps. Also I want to add how I'm impressed I was with how flexible and willing the nurses were to do whatever I wanted. I mentioned once that I didn't want to be asked my pain scale. Never again did I need to remind them. And they only told how dialated I was when I asked. I really enjoyed knowing how dialated I was, it was good to know I was progressing. At a seven I was also pretty impressed with how I was handling the majority of the contractions. I never and would never consider an epidural because only one in three contractions did I tense up - thanks to the hypnobaby cd tracks I had downloaded on my phone. They we're heaven sent. (During the walking all the way to the birth I was listening to these amazingly relaxing tracks.)

After another half hour or so on the ball came a contraction that slowly turned into nothing but solid full on pushing. Weirdest feeling in the world having my body push when I didn't tell it to. It wasn't a small graceful push either, my body meant business!! :)

From stories I have heard of moms going natural with a baby that's not their first, lots say that their body pushed once or maybe twice and the baby was born. So when my body pushed and I felt the baby's head against the green birthing ball I began panicking and told Trav to get the nurse. I was fine going natural but there was no way I wanted to catch my own baby above the birthing ball!! As Trav tried to figure out what to do or how to get the nurses, I dived for the bed! I laid on my side and started sweating like crazy. With my head in the mattress and no pillow (thank goodness), I was amazed and shocked with what I saw my body doing. I had previously thought the contractions would just get more intense and more intense and then the baby would be born. I guess I had heard "when you feel like pushing..." But this was different, I didn't feel like pushing, my body WAS pushing and it was all I could do to not tense up and just relax. The nurses and doctor were here by this point.

These pushes lasted like a full minute and in between pushes my body simply pushed how it would push poop out - there's some detail for ya! ;) During the third push the on-call doctor stretched my perineum out without warning. That would have been fine and I would have even considered it helpful but with no warning and then him stretching it during the greatest pain my body has yet experienced, I shouted at him, "what are you doing!!!? Stop doing whatever your doing!!" He kinda yelled back that he was preventing tearing. I realized that he was just trying to help, but with that one solid "no" from me he didn't do try again. After that I couldn't talk again so I could say, okay I understand. So I tore, oops.

After the fourth push, I silently prayed that if at all possible this next contraction would be the last one. These pushing contractions were serious and though I was staying pretty calm, I was getting to my witts end.

The fifth contraction the baby crowned and I grunted/screamed from the back of my throat. My throat was sore for days! :) Once the baby crowned, the doctor said, "you're tearing, do you want me to do an episiotomy?" I said, "can you give me a local?" Because I didn't want to feel the cut. To me a local for an episiotomy has nothing to do with the legitimacy of going natural-if I even cared about being absolutely natural. So I guess they gave me a local. I'm not sure when it kicked in or if it ever did. As this fifth contraction was ending, I thought, man I guess there's going to be another contraction before he's born. But then the doctor said, "if you give another push this baby will be born." So as the contraction was ending I specifically chose to push and as I pushed again my body must have got the message because it started pushing on its own again and right then. With the most pain I had felt up to this point the baby's head came out followed by immediate relief as his neck didn't require any stretching after his head. Then with the next contraction and quite a bit of pain, his shoulders came and rest of him just flowed out with zero pain. But with all the crowning/stretching and then tearing and sewing back up, everything still burned like crazy and would for the next half hour.

On my birth preference sheet/birth plan, I had written that I wanted to hold the baby for an hour before he was weighed. This was one of the best things I could have included because if you don't say anything, you keep the baby for about 20-30 minutes. But for the first half hour I tried to take in the baby on my chest, but I was in too much pain to really focus and enjoy him completely.
(The doctor was so rough when he wiped me down and then sewed me up. I assume its because its probably muscle memory for him and its easy to forget I wasn't numb. At one point I firmly said, "be careful!!" He kept doing painful yet helpful things but with no warning. No fun, so that's why I yelled at him. But only twice, so that's good considering!)

After a half an hour, the burning was still there but I could talk again and could begin focusing and taking in our beautiful baby boy. Although, right when he came out I did have a moment to think about his name and I could picture us calling him Trevin. He didn't necessarily look like a name, but suddenly I could picture calling him Trevin. Later while enjoying him I told Travis this and I guess after seeing me go through labor and delivery he was like, "you had him so if you like that name I say lets do it." So sweet.
During labor I was sweating so afterwards I was just freezing. By the time I warned up I had three warmed up blankets and a baby on me.

While holding him and enjoying the moment, I noticed he started opening his mouth with very concentrated lips, so kind of reluctantly I tried to breastfeed him. I was reluctant because after having little success with Brynlie and all her eating problems since I just didn't want to even deal with it, I didn't want to be disappointed. But who am I to deny his obvious asking and need? So when he opened good and wide, I use all the skills I had after having Brynlie and stuffed as much into his mouth as I could. And...drum roll please...he latched on and sucked for 20 minutes! Then latched on the other side for another ten!!! And since then he's been so so great! Him nursing has been one of the keys to to an enjoyable and straight forward postpartum experience. (the other key is that we've on this before and are not so new to taking care of a baby) I just feel confident I know how to take care of him and am so proud of and amazed in him. It's fun to have a good eater!

Getting to postpartum in the afternoon with energy because I hadn't pulled an all nighter and with the chance to immediately order lunch was such a relief and made postpartum so fun!! While waiting for our lunch, they brought the bath right next to my bed and we enjoyed watching his first bath. So sweet and exciting to watch and take in. The rest of the day was fun and a relief. It was wonderful to feel excited to have family come. It felt wonderful how happy I was and how pleased I was that none of my real life nightmares that happened with Brynlie's delivery didn't happen again!

While in the hospital my heart and mind turned to Brynlie several times. I enjoyed little kids before she was born but she really taught me how to be a mother and how truly and unconditionally love children and specifically my children. I bonded so easily and so quickly with Trevin and I believe a lot of the credit goes to Brynlie. I appreciated him so much more than I did with Brynlie because I was so naive.

Since being home, handling and loving Trevin has actually helped me or reminded me enjoy Brynlies cute qualities to and to be a little more gentle - take time to take her in too. Through their spirits, I feel like they are already looking out for each other! Plus Brynlie hasn't had any jealous problems. She loves him and loves to be involved. Which is fun. But it will be A LOT more fun when she's not sick anymore!

We are doing so good! Thanks for reading and sharing this one week birthday and birth day with us! We love our children!!!